Updated: Jun 15
If those are your true feelings then you are missing the vital meaning of living.
Ok, ok, I know what you are thinking, “My husband is so great, my partner is awesome, there’s no way I could live without this person being my other half.’’
Well, I hate to break it to you but you can, you have, and if you ever divorce or break-up, *gasps* you will!
Two whole and healthy people come together to create a powerful partnership. Not two halves creating one whole person.
You shouldn’t be hoping that a half-full person will fill you up with their half…think about it, if they do, what would that person have left?
So, no, they are not your other half and you are not theirs.
You are each other’s “addition to”, a “bonus” if you will. A person should not be a supplement for something missing in your life but a true complement to what you already have acquired.
You’ll always be seeking happiness if you are constantly trying to fill a void in the form of another person. Your life should already be full of love, and joy, so that all you are doing is giving the spilled-over portions to another already healthy, happy human.
Furthermore, if you are recently single, even if you’re not, here are some tips for living a happier fulfilled life, and enjoying your own company (without a partner), that I have used and have suggested to clients:
Finding a life purpose and passion is what helped me after my long relationship. I took time to figure out MY wants, needs, purpose, and value.
How exactly do you do that?
You can start with small things that you enjoy but rarely do: -Take a Bubble bath -Watch your favorite movie -Take A mini vacation alone (Yes, traveling solo can be very relaxing.)
-Read a good novel
-Get a massage
After you’ve indulged in some much needed “me” time, it’s time to dig deep.
What motivates you?
What makes you want to get out of bed each day?
What makes you smile when you talk about it? In the latter, what doesn’t do those things?
Now what can you do to change the negativity in your life, and add meaning?
What can you do to find a life-long happiness that starts and finishes with yourself?
Steps that I took (you don’t have to do what I did, but trust me they help):
-I removed unhealthy, toxic people from my immediate environment.
Those were people who drained my energy, therefore limiting my abilities to enjoy life.
This included but not limited to: family members (yes, surprisingly you can still love people from afar), friends, my boyfriend at the time (he played a key role in my unhappiness), and my supervisor (resigned from my job).
The saying “You are who you hang with” didn’t just drop from the sky without a purpose.
When your days are spent listening to complaints with no motivation to change, dealing with dramatics that have nothing to personally do with you, and constantly giving without receiving, tires you mentally and physically.
That negative energy transfers to you! On the contrary, being around people who have a productive, peaceful, positive, and goal-oriented lifestyle make your days bright and shiny, instead of cloudy and dull.
-I hired a trained life coach.
She asked thought-provoking and deep-rooted questions to make me aware of what I already knew within myself.
My coach motivated me, encouraged me, and held me accountable for the things I said I was going to do.
Hiring her helped me see that my true love, goal and passion in life is to help others emotionally, and to empower them to love themselves first.
-I quit my unsatisfactory job (I don’t recommend this without making sure you have another source of income or another job lined up).
-I take some personality and career online tests.
A friend told me he'd taken a personality test that told him which careers suited him best.
So, I Googled (ya'll can tell Google is a good friend of mine can't yall?). I found a few different tests and took them.
Those results directed me toward helping others and hospitality.
After constant research online, I came to the conclusion that the idea of being a life coach, and writing blogs/books to help others, were two things that made me smile.
After some intense research for schools, I enrolled in classes to become a trained coach.
I challenged myself to go outside of my comfort zone by not sticking to the traditional 9 to 5 job and as a result I became self-employed.
The rest is history. 😊
-I made a “visuals goals board” and hung it up on a wall in my bedroom.
I wake up every morning with my goals and dreams right in front me.
All it took was a standard bulletin board with thumbtacks and pictures that I cut out of magazines, newspapers, etc. They are of places, situations, and material things that I want to strive for.
-I Invested in a mindfulness journal.
It helped me be appreciative of all of the things life has to offer big, small, bad, and good. Each day the journal asks a different question about the beauty of your own life.
-Yoga and meditating were tools that also helped me reduce stress (and still do) along with walking around my neighborhood, and shooting a basketball at a park!
I also enjoy swinging on the kids' playground. I’m still a kid at heart, what can I say?! Having the cool air hitting your face as you reach the clouds is such a beautiful reminder to enjoy the present moment and take in your surroundings.
It allows you to appreciate the breaths you take (and also an abdominal work-out).
By making a daily conscious effort to change situations in my life, the way that I thought about myself, and how I viewed each day; I went from asking myself daily “Is this it? Is this what I’m going to do for the rest of my life?"
"I mean this seriously cannot be all I do until my dying day" and dreading everything I did.
To loving each day; smiling with excitement that I get to help people and do what I truly love.
Having value, and a passion for life will provide you with the wholeness and healthiness needed to be a happier you .
Whether you’re single, or in a relationship, another person will not make you complete.
Only YOU have the tools do that!
Certified Life Coach
"Because you the sh*!
Strong. Honorable. Independent. True."