Updated: Jun 15, 2020
After being single for a year, Rachel decided to get back on the dating scene, so she downloaded a popular dating app on her cell phone and started swiping. She swiped left for quite awhile until she found a man worthy of the right swipe. "Boom," it was a match.
She and Ron sent messages for a while through the app and eventually spoke through the phone.
Sparks flew instantly. Ron was open-minded and understood her quirkiness. He was everything on paper she could ever ask for in a man. He was persistent, consistent, and vocal. All was good in the romance department, as far as she was concerned she had found HIM.
Of course, this story wouldn't be a blog if there wasn't a twist right?
Ron left out the detail that he still lived with his "ex-girlfriend."
Since Ron was upfront about it when questioned, (she saw signs and became suspicious) he allowed Rachel to have a choice.
She could choose to take his word for it and see what happens. Or she could choose to move on and NOT risk heartbreak and disappointment.
Are these really fair choices? Should Rachel have to be concerned with his living situation?
Rachel is reserved and guarded, given her prior relationships had all ended due to infidelity on her partners' behalf.
So that begs the question, is that baggage? Does that make her more protective of her heart? Is it hindering her from trusting someone new?
Does Rachel leave Ron alone and risk not finding the same connection with another? Or does Rachel take a chance and believe that Ron's intentions are good?
Will starting off on questionable circumstances make your new relationship start on questionable actions?
Does honesty make it right? What are we supposed to disclose to our new person about our old partner? Will the new partner worry that (s)he will someday be that old one?
It seems as if there is a trend of people waiting to get rid of their old situation until they find something new to replace it with.
You wouldn't move in a new couch without removing the old one first, right?! Most people don't just scoot the old couch over and place the new one in it's spot, make sure they like it, and THEN get rid of the old one. So why do we feel this is acceptable to do to people?
It's natural to want to be loved. To want to be wanted in a different way from what your family and friends provide. But it's also okay to enjoy your own company until you find the person that's a cherry on your sundae...
Turns out Ron's ex, was actually his current girlfriend. Rachel found out through social media. She dodged a bullet by deciding to not start a new relationship out with insecurities.
What she learned was when all else fails, trust your instincts. If it barks and has fleas it's not an elephant.
And for the sanity of everyone, close one door before you open another. It eliminates unnecessary issues and makes for a healthier start to a new relationship.
There's no hurry to have someone. Enjoy your own company while you can!
Certified Life Coach
"Because you the sh*!
Strong. Honorable. Independent. True."