Updated: Jun 15, 2020
Clients have asked me when is it okay to start dating again and when they do start, is online dating acceptable?
I’m not an expert, however, I have had some experiences in my days.
With that said, if it were me I’d to wait until I was healthy emotionally/mentally and over the last relationship before venturing out into the dating world.
It’s not fair to myself or to the other person to date when I’m not capable of being 100% dedicated to a new relationship.
Keeping this short and sweet. Only YOU know when you’re truly ready.
Just remember that healthy entices healthy.
Don’t expect to attract Prince Charming if you’re Ms. Hot Mess Express.
You’ll miss red flags and we don’t want you making anymore red scarves out of them.
Make sure you have taken adequate time to work on you. You’ve focused on self-care. You’ve found or are working on finding, your purpose and value. This is the time to be open to dating.
I don’t suggest actively seeking a mate daily though.
Looking for love to me, seems like you’re trying to fill a void. If that’s the case, a person will not serve that purpose. That relationship will be doomed from the beginning; the intent is not due to a true connection to your partner but to your own inner needs.
Only when you are ready to compromise your own wants and needs for someone else’s wants and needs is when dating should be an option. A partner should add to your life, not fix something in it. You always want to be someone’s addition and not burden.
Don’t rush it, good relationships come to those who have patience!
When you’ve become the best version of you, you won’t run into a partner if you don’t get off the couch and put yourself out there. Just don’t make it the top priority on your list. Your partner will enter your life when it’s time.
As far as online dating, I don’t see an issue with it. I know the news tends to focus more on the negative events that happen via online dating versus the good.
Reality is, there are bad people at the grocery store, libraries and even churches too. Online dating is not much different than meeting someone in person.
If I were to use online dating, I’d want to immediately Skype or engage in some type of video chat with the person. This ensures the person is who they say they are. Their picture matches their person. Maybe have them show their driver’s license or ID in the camera. Once comfortable, meet in public places and bring a friend for the first meeting.
Don’t invite them to your home or go to theirs.
Again, these are all things you should do if you meet anyone new, anywhere, not just online.
Just use caution and pay attention to your instincts. Chances are that you’ll meet a good person versus a bad one.
There are many happy stories about people meeting online, we just don’t hear about them because the negative stories are more interesting these days.
Let’s face it, bad news travels faster than good news.
Dating is an important part of our lives. It’s human nature to want to be loved and to be with someone.
It’s up to us to be smart and not rush. Love yourself enough to wait for a healthy person to cross your path. Rushing leads to settling and we know you deserve more than that!
Certified Life Coach
"Because you the sh*!
Strong. Honorable. Independent. True."