It’s Okay to Be a Player If…

Updated: Jun 15, 2020

A Sunday morning, Suzie wakes up by the sunlight shining in her eyes. She rolls over in her warm, comfy bed. Glances at her phone and sees zero missed calls.

Any other day, this wouldn’t discern her, but this day, she should’ve received a text, a call, a tweet, a DM, a something, from her boyfriend.

At this time, he lived at his place and she at her's. He had decided to have a boys' night out on the town but promised to call or text when he got home. Missed call not in tow, she dialed his number. Straight to voicemail.

This boyfriend of hers had been rumored to be a player, but you can’t fully accuse your significant other without solid proof. So with no proof, only suspicion, she brushed her teeth washed her face, hopped in her cherry red car and headed to his house.

She pulled up to his two-story house on a hill. His car was parked out front. Nothing suspicious about that. She doesn’t bother to knock…she opens the door, the handle unlocked.

Walked in the living room, empty. Walked up the steps, goes in his room, empty. Walked in to the spare room and there he is with a fling of the week or month, or girlfriend number two for all she knew.

"Scoop of the day" screamed, he jumped up, grabbed his pants and ran after his girlfriend who just caught him red-handed, as she headed for the door. Shouting apologies and 'buts' along the way but Suzie just wasn't hearing it. She hopped in her car and drove off, leaving cheater, cheater pumpkin eater in the dust.

I’d like to say that was the day their relationship ended, but it wasn’t. However, she learned a valuable lesson that day. She didn’t choose to be cheated on, it got chosen for her.

Had she known this particular person wasn’t ready for a commitment, which he clearly wasn’t, she would’ve had a choice. A choice to stay with someone who may be intimate with other people. She could've chosen to be his friend, or nothing at all.

When you become a player without everyone being in on the same game, that's where the problem lies.

Suzie may have been okay with this other girl had she known, but since she was betrayed and deceived, her feelings were hurt.

I know you’re saying "Now, what woman would let a man cheat?"…You’d be surprised! It’s not cheating if it’s agreed upon upfront in the relationship.

I encourage men to play the field. However, do so with the agreement of all parties involved. There’s no need to lie to women about your relationship status, or what you want in the romance department.

There are women out there whom are at the same stage in life as you. There are some women who want to date and not settle down. That’s quite alright. The idea is that all parties involved know what they are getting into. By knowing, you give them a choice. Without knowing, you leave them with no choice at all. That allows for pain, anger, jealousy, and other negative emotions to come into play.

Eventually, there comes a time when you will realize that quality over quantity means more. I’m not saying have more than one woman of quality.(I know how some of you think).

No, I’m saying have ONE quality woman that you can settle down with, love, trust, and protect.

But, do this only when YOU are fully ready to be a committed, loving, monogamous partner. UNLESS you both agree to have an open-relationship, be swingers or whatever your taste may be.

Make sure everyone has a choice BEFORE another person is introduced.

Wouldn't playing the field be more fun if you didn't have to lie and sneak?

Unless, of course, you enjoy chaos and headaches and don't like living a peaceful life.

Or even worse, you enjoy hurting people.

Honesty wins in the end...for everyone involved.

Have fun, but be respectful and considerate. The energy you put into the world is the same energy you'll get in return.

Natasha, CTACC

Certified Life Coach


"Because you the sh*!

Strong. Honorable. Independent. True."

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​©2020 by Because You The Sh*!/NATASHA BYTS. All Rights Reserved.

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