Updated: Jun 15
A question I’m asked all too often is “Why are you single?”
Is this a question of judgement?
I’m not quite sure, however, what I am sure of is it’s a question that burns my whole entire soul!
I’m single because I love myself enough to know when the time is right for me to sacrifice my wants for a partner.
I’m single because I love myself enough to know how to wait until I meet a mentally and emotionally stable person; one who is already healthy inside, and exercises self-love.
I’m single because I don’t need a partner to enjoy life.
I’m single because I CHOOSE TO BE SINGLE!
It has been instilled in us since childhood that we should go to school, go to college, get a career, find a partner, get married, have kids, buy a house and own a dog.
Reality is, we aren’t all built for this. There are even people like me who do not aspire to have the “American Dream” and that’s okay!
Suzie likes the color red. I like the color blue. Who is wrong?
Suzie is married. I am single. Who is wrong?
Just like people have different preferences in color, they have different preferences in lifestyles.
Why do you have to be in a relationship? You don’t.
What if I like being single? I do.
Is something wrong with me if I never have a partner? Nope, not a thing!
The stigma of being single is partly why I started my coaching service. I wanted women (and men) to know that you can live a happily, content life without having to be in a relationship. Self-love and self-care are what’s needed to accomplish this.
Once you understand how to love and care for yourself, you won’t feel as if something is missing. You won’t relationship-hop to show the world you are “happy.” (We all know that everyone who has a partner is happy *insert sarcasm*).
It took me awhile to understand what it meant to love myself and to enjoy my own company.
After a few failed relationships, I discovered the problem was not only that I had picked unhealthy partners, (you attract what you are, and it’s harder to detect the toxicity when you’re not self-aware), but that I hadn’t invested enough time into loving myself. It was easier for me to just pick any ol’ man and have him be my “plan”.
A bad something is better than a lonely nothing right?!
I hated my job, disliked my hometown, had toxic “friends,” etc. but as long as I had my man, oooh I was something. *face palm*
Using a person to fill a void is never a healthy plan. A healthy plan is to do things for SELF daily, have sessions with a life coach, go for a walk in the park, read a new book, take a road-trip, cook your favorite meal, go back to school, change careers...do what is necessary in order have a passion for life.
Being single is YOUR TIME!
So to answer this daunting question one last time, I am single because it’s what works for me at the moment.
When I meet the person who complements my lifestyle; when I'm ready for the hard-work, commitment, dedication, and compromise that comes with a relationship, that's when I'll partake in one.
Until then, I will spend my days helping others understand that it’s absolutely OK to be single.
I have the freedom to do anything I desire without compromising for a partner.
I’m embracing it!
If you're single, you should embrace your time too. You never know when the right person will come your way...be healthy, be ready!
Certified Life Coach
"Because you the sh*!
Strong. Honorable. Independent. True."