Updated: Jun 15
I recently hosted a workshop where one of the topics covered was finances.
Most attendees agreed that being financially stable was very important to them. As well as having a partner who is financially stable.
I added finances to my workshops because it is an important part of life and relationships.
In my opinion, money doesn’t buy happiness but it sure can make you miserable if you are without it.
The means of how you get your money can also make a difference on your overall well-being.
You bring home: stress, bad moods, complaints etc. after a day of misery at the job.
Which means you're also less likely to have good attendance, which effects finances, which effects relationships.
You and your loved one should have an economic partnership.
You should have a plan and dates.
If your partner says they are "working on it."
Ask "How? When?"
I know from personal experience that when I worked at a job that made me miserable.
I brought it home with me and everyone suffered!
I'd wake up every morning and literally cry because I had to go to work.
The environment was hostile.
I disliked the work I did. The only thing I did like were a few co-workers and the pay/benefits.
Yep, I stayed for the pay and benefits.
At this particular job, I had expressed how I felt; that I wasn't appreciated. The supervisor told me "But we pay you well."
I felt like a robot and was basically told I was such metal.
I was physically sick from the stress of this job.
I placed an empty cardboard box under my desk for the day I ever found the courage to resign.
One day, I used it!
I had no plan, but what I did know was I was no longer going to spend more than 40 hours a week of my life being miserable and being treated poorly.
It was the best decision I ever made.
I wish I could say I found another job that paid just as well.
I wish I could say I loved my work and life was grand.
But it didn't exactly work out that way.
I worked several other jobs that made me unhappy, until I realized that I just wanted to help people on my own terms.
I wanted to treat people how I want to be treated.
Which is part of why I'm a self-employed certified life coach.
When I was going through the rough times with jobs,
I was always negative, always down and had no joy in life.
My friends always had to hear me complain about my job or just be in a bad mood because of it.
It wasn't fair to them or to myself to live that way.
I know several people who are miserable at their jobs but stay due to their age or their seniority.
Excuses such as "But I have xxxx amount of vacation days there. I don't want to start over again" or "I'm too old to start over, no one will hire me."
Those are what we call Limiting Beliefs.
You're limiting yourself to believe that you are stuck where you are. That you can't possibly prosper elsewhere.
And that's simply just not true. It may be uncomfortable, it may not be easy but you CAN find a career that makes you happy.
Or at the very least, happier!
Yes, you may lose your seniority but what is more important?
Your rank at a job that makes you miserable or your happiness?
Why wake up every day dreading your job when you don't have to?
Would you tell your children to stay at a job that makes them unhappy?
I've also heard "Well I won't make as much money any where else."
I can testify that I have quit a job that I literally cried every morning because I had to go to. But paid me tremendously well.
It wasn't a hard task to find another job. It didn't pay as well but my overall health, mood, behaviors improved.
I had to cut down my wants and stick to needs only financially but that was a compromise I was willing to make.
Eventually, I found my passion (coaching) and all ended well for me. I have found my purpose in life.
I feel whole! No longer miserable.
A former co-worker had worked in the same position for almost two decades and put in his two week notice. He told me "Natasha, I used to love my job, now I dread it. It's time for a change."
I was so proud of him. Instead of complaining daily and just sticking out misery for comfort, he applied elsewhere and gladly accepted a position that better suited his lifestyle, wants and needs.
This is a wonderful example of overcoming fear of change and stepping outside of your comfort zone in order to reach a happier contentment.
I don't recommend quitting your job without having another form of income. But I do recommend being active, searching for job advertisements, filling out applications and tackling those interviews.
If your passion is being self-employed; Google, taking some classes, and receiving mentoring from other successful business owners is a must.
No matter which route best fits you, just be active. Actions make it happen, thoughts just make ideas. Don't dream, DO!
Not hating your job is so important to me, that I take it into consideration when I'm dating.
When I meet someone new, one of the first questions I ask is "Do you like what you do for a living?"
If they answer with "no", I dig into why not and what's holding them back.
If they say "yes", its a victory.
I ask this question because of reasons explained above. I don't want to date someone who is constantly stressed, moody or miserable due to their job.
You spend more waking hours at work than you do at home. Therefore, I don't want to spend my free time with someone who spends the majority of their waking hours of life being miserable.
When you care for someone, you don't want them to be unhappy.
You can sometimes take on the weight of their unhappiness and it's frustrating because it's one thing you can't help them change.
They have to change their jobs/careers themselves.
I don't want that energy affecting mine. It's one stipulation I won't budge on, either work on learning to like the job you're at or have a plan in motion to change it.
I prefer the latter.
A stressful job can cause health issues. I worked at place that had employees with high blood pressure, migraines and even depression due to their job.
Since disliking your job can take a toll on your physical well-being, why chance this for a bigger paycheck?
In a previous blog, I mentioned having a routine which included listening to podcasts.
One I recommend on this topic is called "Don't Keep Your Day Job." It can be found on iTunes and other places. The podcast host does a great job of breaking down why you shouldn't stay at a company or in an environment that doesn't make you grow, fuel your passion or prosper. If it makes you miserable, its time to go! I love how she breaks it down in several episodes covering a wide-range of topics. Check it out, it's one of my faves!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advising that you wake up and quit your job without a back-up form of income.
I'm only hoping you'll take the initiative to make a goal.
A goal to find your passion or at the very least, find a job that doesn't make you and everyone else around you, miserable.
Don't spend your days fast-forwarding through life just because you don't like your job. "Everybody's working for the weekend" shouldn't be your motto.
Do something that makes you enjoy each minute of your day or at the very least, do something that doesn't make you hate it...
I believe in you!
Certified Life Coach
"Because you the sh*!
Strong. Honorable. Independent. True."